When it comes to dealing with grief, we’re a lot more resilient than we think we are. According to Time magazine, a lot of our beliefs about grief come from psychiatrist Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, who called grief a "process" – and defined the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. These stages have sometimes been misunderstood. We will attempt to offer some clarity:
- The biggest misconception is: We have to grieve in stages. A new study in Journal of the American Medical Association found that most people accepted the death of a loved one from the very beginning, not at the end. Instead of the "expected" anger or depression, they reported more of a "yearning" for their absent loved one.
- Grief must be expressed instead of repressed? The fact is: Expressing anger and other negative emotions can actually prolong your grief. A study found that those who avoided confronting the loss of a spouse or child were less depressed and anxious two years later, and had fewer health complaints than those who "worked through" their grief.
- Grief is harder on women? That idea came from a study in the early 1970's, when women relied more on their husbands for their sense of identity and financial security. In fact, many were full-time homemakers who didn't even know how to drive. In a more recent study, men and women were about even.
- Grief never ends? Researchers today say that the worst grief is usually over in about six months. The bereaved still missed their spouse or child, but they function normally.
